WORDkill...

in the blackest night the brightest day, it stings without any mercy, daggers, knives arrows and swords ripping through the sentimental flesh of life, crushing the bones stabbing the heart, blood flows through the eyes of the wound, splashing the walls in vermilion, standing in front of a firing squad ready taking aim waiting for the signal, bullets coming straight to the face mocking at the innocence of a infant child, ready to die don't expect the tears they dried up long ago, in an agony untold or written. feeling numb don't feel the pain, been through death row over and over again, accustomed to suicides every second of the day, it doesn't make any difference of what you say, and won't succeed to make me hurt coz I live with it every single day, so thank you for all the thoughts you lay, as WORDS.

The #Shit Feeling

It happens without you even knowing what's going on, and too late to stop, it just comes, pops up straight into your brain, bringing along all the gloomy agony thoughts you never dreamed of seeing again, the once calm beautiful river turns into a muddy marsh filled valley, its stench so raw and unbreathable you choose suicide as first option, without a warning the innocent you is dragged down to a #shit feeling, deeper deeper it takes you until death creeps in with depressive destruction. Arising from an origin, it wants you descending.....
Do you choose death or life?
You have the freedom to set your self free, live today and swim away, don't let the #shit feeling hold you down, don't let it be your master, treat it like another servant you control...it's just a #shit feeling, just let it pass, coz at the end of the day feelings are shit they're just built on the decisions we take......   So stop feeling like #shit

I just know one thing...

I just know one thing - I just want one thing - I want nothing except that one thing - this one thing I know feeds me - clothes me - cares for me guides me and stays when I am afraid and lonely - my desire is this one thing -  the one thing I know will not condemn me when I stumble or fall, but helps me and strengthens me to arise and shine, if not for that one thing I know I wouldn't be here  - people may know this one thing I know but may not believe it - to me this one thing is the way to the life of truth - I just know one thing coz its the only thing I will - want - wanted to know - just one thing I know - that JESUS loves me so. .

THE SHARPEST KNIFE

THE SHARPEST KNIFE

Hard to Imagine what I have, makes me wonder whether it’s really mine, so scared to lose it yet so brave to keep it, so hoping that I would never break it don’t ever refuse it, my actions shake it – No matter how messy it gets ill make it.

Coz in the burning sun and the stormy night she held me tight by her side – the healing touch for my ever broken soul came out of her heart of gold, in my evil days she showed me grace and never let go of her loving embrace, my try to make her smile ends up worse and making her cry, filled with tears of disappointment drives me insane in foolishness, on my decisions I depend or mistakes which I repent. A clear conscious is what I need to keep my thoughts pure without deceit.

Should it be me who pulls the trigger and let her be my personal gravedigger or should I take a stand, where I am coz this here now will be my only chance so I crawl fall try harder than I want I can’t I will I wont never will I ever give up to show her I love her, let her feel that I care, thus I fall on my knees and end it in a prayer, 

mala kehel mala...

Door opens, rooms inside my brain, pipelines gone insane laid wasted beds broken cupboards opened, walls cracked stuff hacked so here goes in fact....my thoughts flung at you!!!!